My doctor called to check on me. She wanted to remind me to take it easy.  She continues to recommend I take time off work, but I think I can actually manage to work from home most of the time.   She said she really likes me (ahh, bless her).  She said call in a week if my boobs were still really hot.  She also asked if they were they still hard?  I told her no, so we know the milk is gone.  She said it’s okay and probably just taking a while for my body to right itself.  Could be another 6 weeks she said.  Ugh, I hope not.

She also suggested I might add some Omega 3 into my diet.  I took a fish oil gelcap whilst I was pregnant as I know it is good for babies’ brains, but she said Chia Seeds are better because they are a whole food.  There is no real evidence that supplements work (although there is also no proof that they don’t.) Thinking about this made me wonder if there was a natural way to get folic acid into my diet, so I googled it.  Turns out that it is leafy greens (most of which I love anyway).   I guess even when I am better maybe I will keep making the juices.  Trevor made me his miracle “green hell” yesterday.  It is FULL of spinach and parsley – so coincidentally checks this box 🙂 . I have even found a safe way to freeze them (thanks to Dana) to the nutrients and enzymes are not degraded.

I think I will keep blogging for a bit, until I feel better and get bored of myself again 🙂 .  And by then I will be back at work with less time on my hands and no need to blog anymore.  The world will right itself. (The world will write itself? LOL!)

I saw “Jiro dreams of sushi” the other night and I think it really kicked it this spiritual awakening (or whatever it is I am having).  Be good to yourself, do work you love, respect your friends, your customers, the food you cook, and eat. If you eat meat and/or fish, respect the animal that gave up its life so you could eat it.  Don’t eat shit.  Don’t eat processed foods.  Yep, I’m finally getting it,  If life looks after you like this, there has to be something else…

I also think there is some truth about being men in the midst of Tibet that meditate all day and night and don’t relly need food – they are communing with the universe, communing with the Buddha and so completely taken care of that they are now seen as a prophet.  (They are also seen as completely mad, but revered for their not need to eat and their ability to predict the future).  I think that might be the first step to what I am experiencing through grief.  I am opening up, aware of a second plane of existence (I can’t believe I even just wrote that!)  Maybe Molly is second step – she recognized she sees the future.  Maybe it is all bullshit and your rational mind lets you know how far to go, and how mad you are willing to seem to our friends!! And the only reason we don’t get real prophets still in our first world (like you still do in India, etc) is that we have ceased to believe.  (LOL and wow – it is like Peter Pan… if stop believing in the farriers, they cease to exist.)

Actually, I think know a few examples of this: Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods” , the movie Chronicle (which was a great Indy movie, I liked it.  Sort of reminded me of the English movie Take back the block, Take Shelter, Another Earth etc.)  People are pretty public about the inside joke, if you know where to look”  In the Escapist.  Frank says “imagination is all that protects us.  It keeps us alive.”  It was a very strange both sad and uplifting movie.  There are a couple of good quotes in that movie (like the Puck quotes in Midsummer night’s dream.  I can’t remember which one the movie closes with exactly – maybe it was the one about “ We are such stuff as dreams are made of and our little lives are rounded with a sleep”.   I’m not sure if I got that word-for-word correct, but I know most of the plays from my old days at Oxford.  Maybe Shakespeare believed in reincarnation, too?)

Maybe I will stop believing again when my body has healed and I don’t feel the immediacy of grief.  I kind of hope not, though.  Hopefully I will just dial in back a bit.

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