Something tells me I am going to be writing a lot this holiday. My friend Brian asked me to write him a letter, so I dug out my fountain pen and some good letter paper. He is subtle and respectful. He is not asking for anything between us and I have I told him there is no place in my heart for him. I have a whole host of options of hand-made paper, untidily stuffed in a leather writing binder (of course). You would expect nothing less of me. I don’t have the time or energy to mix the colour of ink I want, so it will likely be plain black.
I thought the last poem was a little bit of a bleak way to start the holidays, so I wrote another. For my friend Brian, that asked me to write to him.
Writing is easy
It is editing yourself that is hard.
“The floor is hard, Nina.” My dad would say: “Editing yourself is difficult.”
Yes it is, dad. Yes it is.
My parents are my rocks. I am, and have always been, a “daddy’s girl” but I have cried again and again that “I want my mummy”. I am going home for Christmas. I fly today. No more sleeps. This small tragedy that has touched my life has made me realize how incredibly lucky I am. I have fallen in love with my brother’s wife, after all these years. I can’t wait to see my nieces. The are holes in my blog I can’t or won’t talk about, but my life is overflowing with love. More now that ever before. “I have seen things you people wouldn’t believe…” (Sorry, Bladerunner joke.)
Someone told me my “aura is strong” today. Yes, it is, I agreed. I am on fire. I am like a comet, but I just don’t know yet if I am going to crash into earth. “That is probably up to you”, they said.
Okay, that’s it for today. I fly to England in 4 hours and I haven’t even thought about packing. I have so many gifts for people I will likely have to take 2 suitcases. Trevor told me to be sure one can fit inside the other so I can bring them back. I will likely end up with the randomest of things to wear. It doesn’t matter. What do you really need? Passport and wallet. Everything else I can borrow from my mum – and I can buy a toothbrush 🙂