Old as you feel

Sometimes I feel old.  Sometimes I feel young.  Like the phoenix, maybe I am both.  (Since “time does not exist”, I guess we are all any and every age.)

I honestly believe you are only as old as you feel and today I got a tragas piercing with my 20-year old cousin, Nikki.  I have wanted one for ages, but someone told me I was too old for another piercing.  It appears I am not 🙂 .

I am finally learning some things about myself – and how to deal with grief, and love.  How to be turned on and switched off.  I still desperately need sleep, but I am just going to deal with that when I get home.  I might as well stay partially on SFO time now.

Getting in the bath, getting my hands wet and physically unable to touch my phone and/or computer is a good way for me to unwind.  Museums work too.  Seeing a film at the cinema would probably work, too.   Yoga works.  Running works.  I thought I hated running, but I seem to have taken it up.    Being physically exhausted, crying, walking in the cold night air, eating right before bed, a good whiskey.  All of these things can help me unwind enough to sleep.

This week I discovered that my 6 year old niece gives a FANTASTIC shoulder massage.  I had to strike a bargain with her to keep her going.  She said her fingers get weak.  I told her (evilly) practice makes them stronger and she should keep going.  That got me another 10 seconds of a killer massage.  We counted them: 1001… 1002….

Having someone brush my hair.  I love that.  Amie did it this week.  That reminds me of Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca.  I accidentally grew my hair long again, but I still never wear it down.  I joke about the pre-Raphaelite paintings of “loose woman”.  Maybe it isn’t funny.  I married a man who asked me to take my hair out of “that stupid granny bun”.  LOL.  That was a long time ago.  The bun is back! 🙂

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