This isn’t where I thought I’d be
But then, I didn’t think….
Where would I have imagined myself?
Content? Or staring into the brink?
Or rollicking or partying?
Or serenely penning books?
Or happily bound in true love’s knots
Or working a kibbutz?
And what path would I choose for me
If I only had that power?
I don’t know, and that’s the crux of this;
This is not my darkest hour.
It’s not my lightest, not my brightest,
But not my worst by far.
It’s fine, and sometimes joyous,
But my soul aches for more.
For years, my job provided me
With the sustenance I sought.
The raison d’être, self-esteem,
No room for doubt or thought.
And there were parties every week,
Dancing, drinks, and drugs
A whirling carousel of life
Air kisses, sweaty hugs.
But life moves on, what served me then
Overserved me over time.
And now I seek something… else.
Something altruistic? Some sign?
And yes, I am a mother.
(And that’s easy. I am blessed.)
She lights up my life in every way,
I don’t feel… “depressed”.
But something… there’s a longing
For what, I wish I knew.
Is it my mid-life crisis?
I guess my simple rhyme is through! 😊