God is what?

When I was a child, I used to believe in God. I used to believe in reincarnation.  For the last few years, I would have classed myself as “atheist”.

I now have not one, but two books on why God is impossible – and I believe every word. I wouldn’t say I believe in God now, but something has changed. Maybe these “wise woman” have just been around the world before. I don’t know. I have got steadily more stoic in recent years. Maybe I have become TOO practical. I have started to believe ONLY in things you can prove and in medical science. It is likely I am swinging too far the other way through this (Trevor would definitely think that). Maybe I AM grasping at straws, but I know the natural stuff can’t hurt me.

I used to do lots of things that relaxed me. I went to yoga regularly, I had long baths, I read books, I even watched TV occasionally without sitting with a laptop on my lap and working as well. Multitasking. I think now I just do everything all at once – and badly. Likely I am doing all the things I am doing badly, and certainly it is bad for me.

Even now, I have found it impossible to just sit still and relax. I get this from my parents. I have actually seen my dad almost hold my mum to the sofa and say “just sit down, woman” as she flits around trying to do too much when she is sick. I need this!

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