My nieces in England both knew I was pregnant. We had some pretty hilarious videos back and forth about exactly how big my tummy was…. I said my boobs were bigger that my tummy and Amie was very concerned that the safety pin preventing my shirt gaping would pop my giant boobs!
When I told my family what had happened, I knew they wouldn’t tell the girls immediately.
Not knowing exactly what my beliefs were, my brother and sister-in-law wanted to explain it in a way the girls could understand. They gave it a lot of thought and in the end told the girls I had to go into hospital. Kim told me that both of them have always asked lots of questions about dying and heaven because she talks about her dad and his death a lot. This is her explanation:
“We’ve always explained it as there are two parts to us – our body and our soul. Their understanding is that when a person’s body stops working for whatever reason our soul leaves it behind because it doesn’t need it anymore and goes to heaven. We sat the girls down in the living room and told them we had something very sad to tell them. Amie looked at Steve and said (I quote) ‘It’s about Aunty Nina’s baby isn’t it?’ Steve said ‘Yes’. ‘She’s died hasn’t she?’. Then she started crying and asking what had happened. Steve and I were so choked at this point. We told them the doctors had discovered the baby’s body hadn’t been growing properly. We said the doctors had had to explain the really sad news that the little baby had died and that Aunty Nina and Uncle Trevor were very, very sad. We said her soul was now in heaven being looked after by Great Nanny Iris. At this point Charlotte said ‘Pushka’s in heaven too, isn’t she? She’ll be taking care of her too now.’ [Pushka was their cat].
Amie in particular had lots of questions. She asked about how the baby was going to get out of your tummy and I told her the doctors needed to do an operation. She could understand this. She was ever so concerned about how you were feeling and both the girls spoke of how sad you must be. Amie in particular really ‘gets’ those feelings and she was really worried about you. I’m not sure if your mum mentioned it, but on the Saturday morning the girls each bought a helium balloon, took them to the park and gave them a kiss before letting them go ‘to heaven for our cousin’.”
I don’t think Steve and Kim could have handled this is a more beautiful and respectful way, and I can’t believe the girls can appreciate this at their ages.
Today a package arrived for me from the girls. Inside were 2 homemade bracelets and Kim’s explanation:
Amie made Trevor’s bracelet and said the stars are the angels in heaven looking after my baby girl
Charlotte chose the flower bead on my bracelet because flowers are pretty and so was my baby.
I have bawled like a baby over both Kim’s email and the package and I am glad. I feel so much closer to my family. I miss them and I love them so dearly.
(Kim included the chocolate in case I didn’t like the bracelets – LOL. I love BOTH!)
Thank you Kim and Steve, and Amie and Charlotte. I love you.
We love you too x
I’m reading this at work and burst into tears x