Happy New Year. 2012 can kiss my arse. 2013 is going to be better. I woke early after less than 4 hours sleep and decided I would start the year by hand-writing a letter to someone that had asked me to. I will call him “wizard”.
I took out my writing book. I unscrewed the ink dispenser (last loaded with a blend of brown/black ink) and cracked a cartridge. It was green, the only colour ink I could find. (Trevor found it for me, actually, whilst I was packing.) It has been so long since I used my fountain pen, I can’t actually get the ink to flow back into the nib. I have sucked and blown. Sucked the nib, blown down the tube. When I was a baby, I used to suck my dad’s fountain pen. I think I ingested so much ink that eventually he kept it unfilled. (Sucking my dad’s nib. There is an Oedipus joke in there somewhere! 🙂 .) My fingers are covered in ink and there are concentric and ever-lightening brown circles on an envelope. But still no easy green flow.
Whilst I was doing this, I notice a handful of letters stuffed in a side pocket. I don’t even remember them. There are love letters from my first boyfriend, heart-felt missives from star-crossed (almost) lovers, and letters from my best friend. Wow – the written word, indeed.
I got distracted reading these instead of writing to the wizard. It’s all right 🙂 . He will forgive me. Maybe it is the age we were at when we wrote these letters to each other – there was no email, no Facebook. The sentiment in them is raw, it is honest, it is romantic. Have we lost this in this face-paced life in which we live? When I was in India, my parents had to write to me post-restante, guessing where I would be when their letters arrived. Mostly I received them. Sometimes I did not. In this life, there are no guarantees.
The wizard says he is taking a month off electronic devices. Even the telephone. I admire him. Since writing this blogpost, we have texted, and I have changed his name to “wizard”. You can UNDO the typed word, you can only cross-out the written word.
I believe multitasking is killing our brains. The notebook and pencil I keep in my pocket is helping, but I don’t have the will-power not to constantly reach for my phone.
What can I do to stop that? What would Jesus do? 😉 (“Who would Jesus bomb?” goes the joke. It is funny until you think about it.) What would (non-existent) god do if he had to distribute the 10 commandments over Twitter or Reddit?
I don’t believe in God. (ESPECIALLY with a capital ‘G’.) How can I have lost faith and now start to believe in a ‘G’od that would take my babies? But maybe I believe in a master plan.
Can’t wait to see what 2013 holds in store for me.