Woke up this morning and made my first cup of coffee in a 6 weeks this morning 🙂 .  Things are looking up!

I feel so much better than I did.  I’m able to walk places now, although walking to work and back tires me (only a 2-mile round trip.)  I am still working pretty much full time, although deciding if I should take a break or not.  I can take up to 6 weeks medical disability if I want to, but I suspect I would go stir crazy.

I am trying to stay at peaceful as possible, but my phone is ringing off the hook with work and other job offers.  It is a good place to be, but I am still a little tired.  Except for the occasional cup of tea, I haven’t had any caffeine for a long time.  The acupuncturist says my body is too exhausted to go to sleep or to rest itself.  I am not sure I believe him.  Sometimes I get the feeling that he is just telling me how exhausted I am so that he can can be in control.  I don’t FEEL that exhausted any more.

I don’t really feel like cooking a lot, though, so maybe there is something in it.  Last night I ordered from Luna Park, using a Waiters on Wheels certificate that a friend sent me.  (I keep accidentally referring to it as “Meals on Wheels”, which makes me sound about 100 years old! LOL!)  Acupuncturist wants to me eat fish stock (blech) if I won’t eat meat, and luckily they had a bouillabaisse on the menu.  YUM!  I should have taken a photo of it 🙂 .

I know I shouldn’t have done it, but being knackered this week is worth every single second of last weekend.  (Full set of pix are here 🙂 .)

It amuses me that these 2 posts are next to each other on my Facebook page 🙂 .

Despite the title (I was trying to be cute), I wanted to end today with a happier note.

On his way to pick me up from the therapist he had recommended, my friend Hugh stopped and picked up the 3 pairs of jeans I had at the menders.  (I was having them patched as I am too tired to go shopping for new ones!)

I think it is funny that my idea of “dressing up” smart is to take off my PJs, or tracksuit bottoms, and put on a pair of jeans.  LOL.  I do it to go to work and I wanted to do it today to go to the therapist.  (I thought showing up in tracksuit bottoms would make me seem a little pathetic and like I wasn’t taking care of myself, but since I didn’t have any jeans, I went with the tracksuit bottoms!)

Lucky me, that I get to wear jeans all my life 🙂  And THANKS HUGH!

Wow – I can tell I am depressed because a sure sign for me is when I make food and eat it out of the saucepan.  I have only done it once before after a breakup.  I remember eating pasta and pesto in an in inflatable Darth Maul chair.  (It was my only furniture.)

There is no need to worry about me, although today’s posts are all blue.  I just tired myself out running around having fun this weekend.  It was good to slip back into denial and just have fun.  (And I DID have fun.  More on that later when I have sorted the photographs out!)  I am also hung-over today as I was stupid enough to drink alcohol, lie in the sun all day and not drink any water.  I am guzzling water today as I am probably dehydrated and don’t have any tolerance to alcohol anymore.

(A friend just gave me this tip: “evening primrose oil and milk thistle (from any health food store or whole foods) pretty much cure hang overs. they can even prevent them if you take them once you are done.”)

I am actually eating brown rice and a can of tomatoes, recommended to me by Dona Shine, who also sent me this article on how to get iron into your diet naturally (without having to eat meat).  I don’t have an iron skillet yet, but I will order one at some point.  This had fried garlic and flax seeds chucked in it too.

(This sounds nice too: roasted cauliflower.  Although I would use olives instead of raisins for the olive oil/rosemary bit.).  I love the idea of the chili flakes and red wine vinegar.  That receipt will have to wait until I can be bothered to cook anything.)

This is what I felt like when my milk was in.  Kind of a sad fact that my boobs (that I used to laughingly refer to as my best feature) are now saggier, and there is no baby, no upside to just looking and feeling worse

My friend Jeff sent me a great recipe for coleslaw (THANKS JEFF!)  Tiffany came round to keep me company and make it 🙂 .

(When she arrived, she accidentally locked her keys in car with all of the ingredients, her purse, her phone, everything.  Oops!  We managed to break into it using a trick I learnt from my first boyfriend when we were 16, back in Brighton!)

The recipe is below.  So easy. Next time, I might consider using a key lime to cut down on the amount of liquid, and adding a green chili.

Cilantro lime cole slaw:

1 head green cabbage
1 bunch cilantro
4 limes
3/4 cup mayo
1 tablespoon sugar

Put cilantro leaves, zest of two limes, lime juice, sugar, in food processor, process for about a minute. Slice cabbage thinly, pour mixture onto cabbage, chill for an hour.

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I have been cancelling almost every event I am signed up for.  And gingerly letting friends know that I can’t socialize too much.  But when someone offers me a spare ticket to go and see John Taylor talk, I GO!!

Trevor dropped me off (it was at the SFAI) and I got an Uber back.  I sat down the whole time (I was in the 2nd row!), so I had decided it wouldn’t be too tiring.

John said he LOVED my nail varnish.  I can now die happy!

TO BE CLEAR, I AM NOT TAKING ALL OF THESE!!  (They are just laid out for the photo.) 

Okay, so you have to remember that 4 weeks ago, I hadn’t been to see a doctor in years, hadn’t taken an antibiotic since I moved to America, and considered myself pretty fit and healthy.

In trying to recover from the D&E and the complications following it, I am now trying a range of natural remedies.  I have spoken to both a  gynecologist and my GP and they both agreed this was a good and healthy list!

In morning:

GABA (recommended by my acupuncturist, natural mood enhancer)

Probiotic (recommended by my gynecologist with the antibiotic).  They inhibit or destroy toxins released by certain “bad” bacteria )

Herbal Fertility Enhancer (recommended by my gynecologist)

Biotin (B vitamin recommended by my GP)

Snack

Once  a day, a fresh-pressed juice of mostly green vegetables (good for depression, constipation, folic acid and iron-deficiency), with the occasional high-sugar veg (beets/carrots) to help with exhaustion.

Lunch

Liquid Iron supplement 10ml 2 times a day (recommended by a midwife friend of mine and both doctors to combat anemia)

Follic Acid 4x/day (obvious that one!  The gynecologist said there is no point taking one massive dose as the body can’t absorb it.)

before bed:

Magnolia Extract (my gyno nurse recommended this)

Calming tea (if I remember to make one!)

Melatonin (both my GP and my gyno recommended this to resest body’s biorhythms for bed.  Often used for jetlag.  Only take when needed)

No caffeine except for one “cheating” cup of Tetley (black) tea, and the occasional “cheating”  bar of chocolate. Very limited alcohol, like a glass of red wine and some (DELCIOUS) liquor-filled chocolates!

This already seems like A LOT to me (but I am happy it replaces the vicodin, ambien, valium cocktail the doctors gave me!)  I probably won’t add anything else, but other things I have been recommended and both doctors agreed could be beneficial:

Siberian ginseng, 5HTP, Budwig Protocol  cancer-curing blend of Flax-seed oil and cottage cheese (also great for fatigue), Valerean (Plant-based anti-anxiety med – don’t use this if you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant.  I read the label on it and decided I didn’t want to add it into the mix.  My hippie gynecologist (that I love) says this is too strong for her. I might consider using it in place of Ambien when I fly.  (Starting to read some very bad things about Ambien!)  Flax seeds, or even better, Chia seeds for Omega 3s (especially important in cold season).

One other thing I have noticed… I LOVE salt.  It is almost impossible to serve me anything with too much salt (that is like “too much butter”.  That sentence is oxymoronic!)  But just recently, I have been sensitive to salt added to my food.  Is it possible that my body is finally learning to tell me not to do things that are bad for it?

I going to have to stop with the food/nutrients talk soon! Trevor already thinks I am a nut job because I think he is shortening his lifespan by eating too many McDonalds or crappy tinned foods.  He doesn’t believe that better food, getting more sleep and looking after your body leads to a better  and longer life – so I had better stop banging on about it.

I need to be more like my friend, Dawn, and only offer advice if actually asked.  (THANK YOU DAWN, for all your advice!!)  Maybe I am trying to learn right now, you can’t “fix” someone else.  Maybe my idea of fix is just totally wrong. Trevor’s idea of fix is probably “have as much fun as you can it the moments you have”. Neither of us is right.  Neither of us is wrong.

Thank you for the email.  You know who you are.   I decided I couldn’t eat the broth, but the extra information is really useful and thoughtful. x